Shocking Report Reveals Embarrassing Things Americans Got Stuck You Know Where Were Tracked In Biden’s Final Year

Americans walk into emergency rooms every day with problems they'd rather nobody ever hear about.

But the federal government has been documenting these incidents in disturbing detail.

And the government tracked the embarrassing things Americans got stuck in the rudest place during Biden's final year in office.

Your tax dollars fund a database of national humiliation

The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission maintains something called the National Electronic Injury Surveillance System.

About 100 hospitals across America feed data into this government database tracking product-related injuries.

That includes the roughly 4,000 Americans who show up to emergency rooms every year with foreign objects lodged where those objects absolutely should not be.

The 2024 data reads like a hardware store inventory collided with a bad decision-making convention.

One patient showed up after he and his wife "got carried away" with a plastic screwdriver handle stuck in his rectum.

Another genius claimed he "tripped in the shower, fell backward, and landed on a shampoo bottle" that somehow became lodged in his backside.

A third person allegedly "slipped and fell in the bathtub" directly onto a toy shark.

Emergency room doctors have heard every absurd excuse imaginable but they're not buying the "I fell on it" stories anymore.

Dr. Linda Girgis from New Jersey says the strangest object she's personally extracted was a Barbie doll's head.

Dr. Don Colvin, a Virginia surgeon, has removed everything from fruits and vegetables to a bottle of soy sauce, a peanut butter jar, and an Ikea bed post from patients over his career.

The full inventory of degradation

Beyond screwdriver handles and toy sharks, the 2024 government database includes plastic baby bottles, water guns, turkey basters, and toy hockey sticks.

Medical staff dealt with lightbulbs, Christmas ornaments, cans of applesauce, and aerosol cans of various sizes.

One case involved two golf balls that the patient wanted removed.

Another featured what hospital records describe as a "spikey rubber ball that lights up" acquired at something called a "fisting party."

Doctors classify these incidents by category – animal, vegetable, or mineral – because you need some system to make sense of the madness.

Research published in The American Journal of Emergency Medicine analyzed data from 2012 to 2021 and found nearly 39,000 emergency room visits for rectal foreign bodies during that decade.

The average patient was 43 years old and 78% were male.

Massage devices and vibrators accounted for 22.7% of cases while jewelry made up 8.1%.

Pens and pencils represented 4.4% of the total.

The crisis nobody wants to acknowledge

Here's what should alarm every taxpayer paying attention.

The annual rate of these incidents jumped from 1.2 per 100,000 Americans in 2012 to 1.9 per 100,000 by 2021.

That's a 58% increase in less than a decade.

Nearly 41% of these patients required hospitalization rather than simple emergency room treatment.

Some needed surgery under anesthesia while the worst cases required full abdominal operations.

Emergency room doctors report they can remove 60% to 75% of objects at bedside if patients receive proper sedation.

The medical literature going back to 1977 refers to these as "social injuries of the rectum" which is clinical speak for "you did this to yourself for sexual reasons."

Medical research confirms roughly 80% of rectal foreign body cases involve sexual activity.

What Biden's America hath wrought

The explosion in these cases during the Biden-Harris years reveals something deeply broken about American culture.

Previous generations kept their private activities private.

Today's culture celebrates behavior that would've mortified people 30 years ago.

This isn't about judging personal choices behind closed doors.

It's about the collision between those choices and taxpayer-funded emergency room resources.

Emergency rooms exist to handle genuine medical emergencies – heart attacks, strokes, traumatic injuries from accidents.

Instead, doctors and nurses spend time and resources extracting toy sharks and screwdriver handles from people who made spectacularly poor decisions.

Hospitals lack standardized protocols for these incidents despite their rising frequency.

That means medical staff waste time developing ad hoc treatment plans for every unusual case that walks through the door.

The sharp increase during the Biden-Harris years mirrors the broader cultural decay that accelerated when Democrats normalized behavior that previous generations understood had consequences.

Conservative values emphasize personal responsibility and accepting the results of your actions.

The government really shouldn't have anything to do with Americans' healthcare, let alone keeping a database about it.

But the fact that they have shows exactly what happens when a society abandons traditional values and common sense.

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¹ Anthony Loria et al., "Epidemiology and healthcare utilization for rectal foreign bodies in United States adults, 2012–2021," The American Journal of Emergency Medicine, March 2023.

² U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission, "National Electronic Injury Surveillance System," CPSC.gov, 2024.